; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I would ride that face into the sunset
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