I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
