You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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