Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
