He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
