I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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