I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
