i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
