his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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