I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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