Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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