NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
