So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
