I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
