ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
