Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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