I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
