Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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