i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Actions speak louder than pants.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
