Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
