Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
