woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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