your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
