wanna go halves on a baby?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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