definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
