I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
