It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
