He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
