he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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