is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize