I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
