I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There r osticjed everywhere
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
