what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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