Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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