No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
