i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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