My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
