Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
