my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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