eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
