Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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