I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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