i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize