I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just want to make out with him forever
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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