You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
