Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize