Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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