i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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