I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
