I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
