yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
