just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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