pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
