If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
