Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
