So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
