Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
