somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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