HIV tests are more positive than that guy
More tranny stories later!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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