Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize