Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
