never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
