yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
